November 2026 Get Reconnected Newsletter - Insights on Anger

Welcome Pamela Brown, RSW

We are pleased to welcome Pamela Brown, Registered Social Worker (RSW). Much of Pamela’s work is with people going through fertility treatment, pregnancy, the postpartum period and the early years of parenthood. Read more about Pamela.

New at Affordable Therapy Services

Get Reconnected Now Offers Anger Management Group Therapy

Our Anger Management and Emotional Regulation Therapy Group, facilitated by Adam Adivi, Registered Psychotherapist, is running now. We are taking names for the next cohort.

The group is a structured, supportive space to understand where your anger comes from, what triggers it, and what you can do differently. It runs virtually for adults 18+ attending from Ontario, with a maximum of 8 participants. Learn more about the group.

Email us at [email protected] to ask about the next cohort. If you know someone who could benefit, please pass this along.

Have you ever snapped at someone you love and felt terrible about it five minutes later? Or held it all in during a tense meeting, only to replay the conversation in your head for the rest of the night?

Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. Many of us learned early on that it was “bad,” something to hide, apologize for, or get rid of as quickly as possible. Others learned the opposite: that letting it all out is the healthy thing to do.

The truth sits somewhere in between. Anger can be useful. It can tell you when something feels unfair, when a boundary has been crossed, or when something important to you feels threatened. The difficulty starts when anger escalates faster than we would like, and begins affecting our relationships, our work, and the way we feel about ourselves.

As the days get shorter this November, and stress tends to rise with them, we wanted to look at what the research says about one of the most common pieces of advice about anger: just let it out.

Ohio State Meta-Analysis: Breathe, Don’t Vent

We’ve all heard the advice. Punch a pillow. Go for a hard run. “Just let it out.”

A 2024 meta-analysis published in Clinical Psychology Review by researchers at Ohio State University put that advice to the test. The researchers reviewed 154 studies involving 10,189 participants to compare two kinds of anger management activities: those that increase physical arousal (like hitting a bag, jogging, or cycling) and those that decrease it (like deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, or even counting to 10).

The results were clear. Activities that calmed the body down reduced anger. Activities that revved the body up did not help, and jogging was the activity most likely to increase anger.

As senior author Brad Bushman put it: “Venting anger might sound like a good idea, but there’s not a shred of scientific evidence to support catharsis theory.”

The calming activities worked across many settings, including online and in person, and in both individual and group sessions.

Why is This Important?

Many people believe they need to “get the anger out” to feel better. But when we vent, we often keep the anger going. Our heart rate stays up, our thoughts keep circling, and we stay in the same state we were trying to leave.

This doesn’t mean exercise is bad for you. It is still good for your heart and your overall health. It simply isn’t the best tool for the moment when anger is at its peak.

The more helpful goal is to turn down the heat first. A few slow breaths, stepping away for a short timeout, or a brief grounding exercise can give your nervous system the chance to settle, so you can respond to the situation instead of reacting to it.

Read the article on the Ohio State University site.

How You Can Support Yourself When Anger Shows Up

Notice your early warning signs: Anger rarely comes out of nowhere. Tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, a racing heart, or a sudden urge to interrupt are often the first signals. The earlier you notice them, the more choice you have.

Turn down the heat first: Before trying to solve the problem, try a few slow breaths with a longer exhale, or step away for a short timeout. Let your body settle before you respond.

Name what you feel: Put the emotion into words, and if you can, name what is underneath it. “I’m angry” can become “I’m angry because I feel like no one is listening.”

Avoid replaying the moment: Going over the conversation again and again can keep your body in the same stressed state. If you notice yourself looping, gently bring your attention back to the present.

Get curious about your patterns: Are there certain people, situations, or times of day that tend to set you off? Patterns are information, not proof that something is wrong with you.

Practice saying what you need: Assertive communication means expressing your needs clearly and respectfully, without attacking or shutting down. It is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier with practice.

Final Thoughts

Anger isn’t the enemy. It’s a signal. It often shows up to protect something that matters to you.

This month, try noticing one moment when anger shows up. Instead of pushing it away or letting it take over, pause and ask yourself: What is this anger trying to tell me? What do I need right now?

You do not have to stop feeling angry to change how you respond to it.

If you’d like support with anger, emotional regulation, or any of the patterns underneath them, book a free 15-minute consultation with our team.

Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation

If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself or someone else, please call or text 9-8-8 (Suicide Crisis Helpline) or call 911. Get Reconnected is not a crisis service.

All Get Reconnected content is reviewed by Delia Petrescu, MA, RP.