If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while and recently went through IVF, you know that waiting to find out if it worked can be really tough. Those two weeks between the embryo transfer and finding out if you’re pregnant feel like they drag on forever.
In this blog we’ll talk about what makes the two week wait so tough and then we’ll discuss some tips and strategies on how to survive this part of the process.
What Happens Following Embryo Transfer
The fertility treatment process has many steps to help you get pregnant through IVF treatment. First, you might be prescribed hormones like progesterone and estrogen to get your uterus ready for the embryo. After a frozen embryo transfer, there’s a waiting period where you might feel cramps or light bleeding.
At the point of the two week wait, you will check your HCG level with a blood test to see if you are pregnant and to make sure it’s not a false positive.
What Makes the Two Week Wait So Hard after IVF and Embryo Transfer?
The hardest part of IVF is not only the waiting but the not knowing. You become hyper-aware of every little thing your body does because you’re hoping for any sign of embryo implantation.
It’s natural to search online for signs and symptoms, wondering, “am I pregnant?” but sometimes, this can make you feel even more anxious. The days following the transfer are one of the most difficult periods, as every twinge or contraction you may feel like a sign.This uterine activity can cause stress and anxiety, making the wait even harder to bear. According to research studies, this waiting period was rated as one of the toughest parts of the whole IVF process.
What You Might Feel During the Two-Week Wait
Let’s face it, the various layers of worrying, uncertainties, hormonal changes and everything else you went through for the egg retrievals can come crashing down during the two-week waiting period. Right after the transfer, you might be feeling very hopeful and full of positive thoughts, already imagining the good news that you will receive in two weeks.
But, time can start to slow down and your emotions might be going all over the place. One thing to keep in mind is that although this whole process is uncontrollable, there is one thing that you can still control, and that is how you are reacting to the situation and whether you can continue to work on that hope muscle. In a previous blog, we talked a lot about maintaining hope through IVF.
One instinct and urge that might come up within the first few days after the transfer is to search the internet for possible symptoms. This time is probably one of the few times that you become so in-tune and aware of what is happening in and to your body. This is when we can hyperfixate on any small tingle that can mean a pregnancy symptom or a sign that the embryo is implanting.
But as with any worrying that is outside of our control, this particularly can make it even harder for you. Remember, everyone’s experience is unique and some women experience common symptoms in the first two weeks while many others do not experience any symptoms.
Yet, the days can seem like they are dragging on…
Coping Strategies During the 2 Week Wait
Here are some practical tips to help you cope with the emotional and physical part of the 2-week wait.
- It’s Okay to Feel All Over The Place
Hormones are running wildly but know that it’s okay to feel anxious, hopeful, angry, sad, or even scared during this period. Give yourself permission to experience these emotions without judgment. Practice self-soothing by doing things that make you feel good, whether it’s eating your favorite snack, listening to music, or spending time with loved ones.
Although it is really good and self-validating to give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up for you, make sure that you don’t get stuck there! Allow yourself to feel but for a short period and after you’ve felt what you needed to feel, try and do something opposite, something that brings back up the good feelings.
Try to take it one day at a time and remind yourself that it’s okay to have good days and tough days.
- Talk It Out
Talk openly with your partner about how you’re feeling. Sharing your worries and hopes and your hormonal rollercoaster can not only make the wait a bit more bearable but it can make you feel that you are not going through this process alone.
Lean on each other for support and comfort during this challenging time.
- Mind Your Thought Processes
Pay attention to what is going on in your mind, what kind of thoughts are you having during this waiting period? Feelings can make us have specific thoughts and vice versa. It can be helpful to pay attention to the thought processes we have as that can guide us into not getting stuck or tangled up in them. For example, one common thought process is catastrophizing.
Catastrophizing is when someone thinks the worst possible thing will happen, even if there isn’t much reason to believe it will. It’s like expecting a small problem to turn into a huge disaster.
Let’s say during these two weeks, you start to worry a lot and your thoughts go something like this: First Thought: “What if the embryo doesn’t attach and grow?” Next Thought: “If that happens, all the time, effort, and money we spent will be wasted.” Worst Thought: “If this doesn’t work, I might never be able to have a baby. Our dream of having a family will be ruined, and I’ll feel like a complete failure.”
Your mind jumps from one worry to a much bigger, scarier thought. You go from worrying about one thing not working to believing it means you’ll never have kids and that everything is ruined.
By recognizing that you’re catastrophizing, you can try to calm down. You can remind yourself to focus on the positive things, get support from your partner or a therapist, and think about realistic outcomes. This way, you can manage your worries better during the two-week wait.
Another common thought process is emotional reasoning. Emotional reasoning is when you believe that your feelings are facts. For example, if you feel scared, you might think there must be something scary happening, even if there isn’t any real evidence to support that.
During these two weeks, you might start to feel very anxious and nervous. Your thoughts might go like this: First Feeling: “I feel really scared and anxious.” Next Thought: “Because I feel this way, something must be wrong.” Worst Conclusion: “These bad feelings mean the embryo transfer didn’t work. I just know it’s going to fail.”
With emotional reasoning, you are using your feelings to decide what is true. You feel anxious, so you believe that something bad must be happening, even though there’s no real evidence for that.
By recognizing that you’re using emotional reasoning, you can try to separate your feelings from the facts. You can remind yourself that just because you feel anxious doesn’t mean something bad is happening.
- Balance Your What Ifs
You find yourself asking a lot of what if questions, “what if it didn’t work” or “what if i’m not pregnant!”. It’s totally normal and common to experience all those feelings and thought processes we’ve talked about so far.
Think about it, our brains are problem-solving machines and have evolved to always be on the lookout to keep us safe. When we worry and ask ourselves what if questions, our brain is trying to do just that, to ‘keep us safe’, although it makes us feel more anxious and more worried.
But since our brains are problem-solving machines, it only makes sense to help it by balancing the what ifs. When you ask yourself the negative what if questions, it is only fair to also ask yourself: What if it did work? What if I’m pregnant?
- Support Groups
If being part of a support group helps you feel less alone and understood, it’s a good idea to join or continue participating. It can really help calm your worries.
Just be mindful not to get too caught up in reading too much online. Everyone’s experience with IVF is different.
Some women might feel symptoms early on, like a few days after the embryo transfer, while others might not feel anything until much later in their pregnancy. Remember, not having symptoms doesn’t mean something is wrong, and feeling symptoms doesn’t always mean everything is perfect either. Each person’s journey is unique.
- Limit Your Google Searches
Ah, the urge to Google every little symptom or feeling during these two weeks – it’s almost irresistible, right? The thing is that asking Dr. Google for any medical symptoms is never a good idea. Searching for every potential pregnancy symptom or IVF statistic can send your anxiety through the roof.
While it’s tempting to search online for pregnancy symptoms or success stories, try not to spend too much time doing this.
Remember, every person’s experience with IVF is different, and not having symptoms during the wait doesn’t mean the transfer hasn’t worked.
Try setting specific times when you allow yourself to look things up (like 10 minutes in the morning). Outside those times, keep yourself busy with other things.
7. Recognize the Urge
Notice when you’re getting the urge to start searching. Is it when you’re feeling anxious? Bored?
Recognizing what triggers your search-fests is the first step in managing them.
8. Keep Busy with Distractions
Find activities that you enjoy and that can take your mind off the waiting. Whether it is reading a book, going for a walk, or doing a hobby you love, staying busy can help distract you from overthinking about the 2-week wait.
When you feel the itch to start searching, have a list of distractions ready. Watch your favorite show, read a book, go for a walk, or start a new hobby. Keeping your mind occupied can help you resist the temptation to over-analyze every potential sign from your body.
Having a distraction can help channel your thoughts and keep your mind from the default mode of over analyzing. If you want to read more about this default mode, read here our latest blog on mindfulness.
9. Resist Temptation to Test for Pregnancy Earlier
Resist the urge to take a home pregnancy test too soon. It’s natural to want to know as early as possible if you’re pregnant after IVF. However, testing too early can lead to inaccurate results and unnecessary stress.
It’s best to wait until the recommended time frame advised by your healthcare provider, usually around 10-14 days after the embryo transfer.
Testing too early can give false negatives, which might cause unnecessary disappointment. Trust in the process and give your body the time it needs to show accurate results.
10. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Mindfulness and relaxation exercises, like deep breathing or meditation, can help your mind and it can reduce stress.
When you start feeling overwhelmed, taking a few minutes to breathe deeply and focus on the present moment can make a big difference.
11. Stay Lightly Active
Choose gentle activities that keep you moving without adding stress. Think walking, light yoga, or stretching. Staying active can help manage your stress and keep your body feeling good.
12. Eat Well and Stay Hydrated
Focus on nourishing your body. Eating balanced meals and staying hydrated can make you feel better physically, which is a big plus when your emotions are all over the place.
13. Get Plenty of Rest
Try to keep a regular sleep schedule. Good sleep is crucial, not just for your physical health, but for your emotional well-being too.
Remember, It’s a Journey
The 2-week wait is just one part of your IVF journey. It’s natural to feel stressed or anxious, but try to focus on taking care of yourself and staying positive. No matter the outcome, you’re taking important steps toward building your family.
Final Thoughts
As you navigate the 2-week wait after IVF, remember that it’s okay to seek support from others and to prioritize yourself. Be patient with yourself and trust that you are doing everything you can to achieve your goal.
By taking one day at a time and practicing self-care, you can better manage the stress and uncertainty of the 2-week wait. You’re not alone in this journey, and there is support available to help you through it.
At Get Reconnected, we know and understand the challenges of struggling to build a family. We are offering support and coping strategies created that suit you best. Let’s connect for a free consultation so we find out how we can best assist you.
Stay hopeful, stay strong, and take care of yourself.
