People Pleasing Therapy Services in Toronto
Do You Struggle with Saying No?
Do you say yes before you even think about how it affects you? Do you feel like you need to keep everyone happy, even when it exhausts you? If you often put others first and end up feeling drained, frustrated, or even resentful, you might be stuck in a pattern of people-pleasing tendencies.
People pleasing means prioritizing others’ feelings and needs at the expense of your own. You may struggle to express yourself and feel disconnected from who you are.
At Get Reconnected, we help people-pleasers develop self-love and balance, so they can care for themselves as deeply as they care for others.
Signs You Might Be a People Pleaser
Struggling to say no, even when you’re overwhelmed
You’ve been called the nice one or selfless because you give endlessly, often at your own expense.
Feeling responsible for how others feel.
You’re the glue holding everything together, always stepping in to help.
You minimize your own pain, always prioritizing others’ struggles over yours.
You hide your true emotions, smiling through sadness to appear strong.
You go along with what others want, even when it’s not what you prefer.
You adjust yourself to fit relationships.
You feel invisible in relationships, as if your needs don’t matter.
You crave approval, believing you must earn love by always saying yes.
Overthinking past conversations, afraid someone else’s opinion of you has changed
Taking care of yourself feels selfish, and guilt follows when you try
Apologizing all the time—even when you didn’t do anything wrong
Walking on eggshells around certain people
Setting boundaries feels impossible, which leads to resentment and exhaustion
You hold yourself to unrealistic standards and are your own toughest critic.
What Causes People-Pleasing Behaviours?
People-Pleasing Tendencies and Trauma
People-pleasers may develop these habits as a response to trauma. When faced with difficult or unsafe situations in the past, you might have learned that making others happy was the safest way to avoid disappointing others, criticism, or rejection.
Trauma can wire your brain to prioritize others’ needs over your own as a survival mechanism. Over time, this can become an ingrained pattern that impacts your relationships and leads to low self-esteem.
Common Trauma Responses That Lead to People-Pleasing
- Fear of rejection and abandonment
- Fear of conflict or upsetting others
- Growing up in a home where your feelings weren’t valued
- Struggling with low self-esteem and feeling like you’re never enough
- Relying on approval of others to feel good about yourself
- Adapted to prioritize others to stay safe
- Engaging in the fawn response as a way to avoid conflict
- Need to please others to maintain a sense of security
How Therapy Can Help You Break the Cycle
- Understand where your people-pleasing behaviours started and why it’s so hard to stop
- Recognize your own needs and make them a priority
- Practice self-care and setting boundaries without guilt or fear
- Learn how to say no in a way that feels comfortable
- Gain confidence in your own voice and decisions
- Shift your mindset from trying to make everyone happy to building healthy relationships
- Heal from past trauma that may be fuelling your need to please
- Prevent burnout from overextending yourself to take care of others
- Learn how cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behaviour therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, mindfulness can help
Together, we’ll explore questions like:
- What makes saying no feel so uncomfortable?
- When did you start prioritizing others over yourself?
- How can you take care of yourself without feeling selfish?
- What does it look like to have relationships where your needs matter too?
- How has past trauma influenced your relationships and low self-esteem?
Online Therapy and Support for People-Pleasers
Take the First Step Toward Change
FAQ's
People-pleasing therapy helps you break free from the cycle of always putting others first, even when it leaves you feeling drained. If saying no feels impossible, if you feel responsible for others’ emotions, or if setting boundaries fills you with guilt, therapy gives you the tools to change that.
Many people-pleasers learned early on that keeping others happy meant avoiding conflict or rejection. Over time, this can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and losing yourself. Therapy helps you understand these patterns, rewrite them, and build confidence, so you can create healthy relationships where your needs matter too.
Absolutely! Therapy helps you understand why saying no feels so hard and why you put others first, even at your own expense. It rewires old patterns, builds confidence, and teaches you how to set boundaries without guilt. Over time, you’ll learn to create healthy relationships where your needs matter just as much as everyone else’s.
If you struggle to say no, seek validation from others, or feel guilty when prioritizing yourself, you may be a people-pleaser. Common signs include overcommitting to avoid disappointing others, constantly apologizing, and feeling responsible for someone else’s emotions. You might avoid conflict to keep the peace or find yourself agreeing to things you don’t want to do. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward setting healthier boundaries and valuing your own needs.
Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Schema Therapy are highly effective for people-pleasers. These approaches help you identify unhelpful thought patterns, build confidence, and set boundaries without guilt. By addressing the deeper beliefs driving your need to please others, therapy empowers you to create healthier relationships where your needs matter too.
Yes, people-pleasing often develops as a way to avoid conflict, gain approval, or feel accepted, especially in childhood or stressful environments. It can be a learned response to keep the peace, reduce tension, or ensure emotional safety. Over time, this pattern can become automatic, making it difficult to prioritize your own needs without guilt.
Breaking free from people-pleasing starts with understanding why you feel the need to put others first. Therapy can help by giving you the tools to set boundaries, speak up for yourself, and build self-worth. It’s about learning to say no without guilt and recognizing that your needs matter too. Over time, you’ll feel more confident in your relationships, knowing you don’t have to please everyone to be valued.
Yes, people-pleasing is often linked to anxiety, especially social anxiety. The fear of disappointing others or being judged can lead to excessive compliance and difficulty setting boundaries. Many people-pleasers feel anxious about conflict or rejection, making it hard to prioritize their own needs without guilt.
